I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
