Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
