yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
