College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
