I can text with my tongue
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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