oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
