no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
