he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
