My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
