Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
