I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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