quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
