just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
