When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
