real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
