your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
