I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize