Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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