Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
