you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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