we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
