I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
