Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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