May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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