NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
