You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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