he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
