Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
