It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Less talking, more tequila
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
