We're facebook friends in real life
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
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