Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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