I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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