It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
