Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
