wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
