my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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