the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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