Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
they need to just BURY HIM!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
