Small penises have feelings too.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
