who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
