u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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