There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
