if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
