some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
