Pants 0. Shit 1.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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