My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
