So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
