i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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