Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
