Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
