It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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