I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Ladies don't puke and tell
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
