Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
