Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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