Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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