White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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