I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
