I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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