good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
